The Victorian Etiquette of Calling

From information extracted from the internet, I found that the practice of Calling, particularly amongst Victorian ladies, was an integral part of society life. Calling was a highly ritualised activity and books on etiquette were full of suggestions on, e.g. how to make calls and leave a calling or visiting card.

Examples

• A stranger arriving in a city, could send cards to friends on whom they wished to call
• For a first call, it was wise to simply leave a card without enquiring whether or not the mistress was at home. She would take the next step (see Notes below).
• In the case of neighbours, a newcomer waited until she received cards from neighbours. It was then good manners to call on those neighbours who left cards.
• When attending a reception, cards should be left in the hall, to help the hostess to remember who had called (see Notes below).
• After a function, to which one had been invited, a call should be made after the event whether one had accepted or not.

  Notes:

  1. Calls would normally have been made on "At Home" days, and times were engraved on some visiting cards.

  2. Invitations would be made to the lady of the household whom, it was understood, kept the diary.

  It is no wonder that some ladies purchased a Calling Book to make sure that some elements of the etiquette were observed.

  Jane Austen

  From her novels, it can be seen that Jane Austen was well aware of the etiquette of calling.

  Examples

  • Pride and Prejudice (first published 1813)

    Mr Bennet called on Mr Bingley the new occupant of Netherfield (as Mrs Bennet was anxious to introduce her 5 daughters to Mr Bingley so that he might marry one of them!) and Mr Bingley duly returned his call on Mr Bennet alone.

  • Northanger Abbey (first published 1818)

    Catherine Morland was snubbed when she called on Miss Tilney at Milsom Street, Bath and produced a card but the servant advised her that Miss Tilney was not "at home" as she thought.

  • Persuasion (first published 1818)

    Sir Walter Elliot "took" a very good house in Camden Place, Bath and their acquaintance was sought after. They kept getting cards left from people they did not know!

  (In Harrogate the local paper published a weekly list of visitors)

  Calling Card used in the Romance of Jennie & Randolph Churchill

  In her book: "Jennie: The Life of Lady Randolph Churchill", Anita Leslie mentions the role that a Calling Card played in the romance of Jennie Jerome and Randolph Churchill.

  In the summers of 1870 and 1873, the family rented a cottage, Villa Rosetta, in West Cowes on the Isle of Wight, where Leonard Jerome liked to sail. In 1873 there was an avalanche of news after Jennie and her sister Clara were presented to the Prince and Princess of Wales. Jennie later met Randolph Churchill at a dance. Under the words: "to meet" on the invitation (which she kept) Jennie later wrote the word, Randolph.

  After an invitation to dinner at Villa Rosetta and a meeting "by accident" on a walk....as it was his last evening, she (Mrs Jerome) sent Randolph Churchill one of her calling cards engraved:

  • Mrs Leonard Jerome
  • The Misses Jerome

  writing on the back: "I shall be most happy to see you at dinner this evening, truly yours, C. H. Jerome".

  This little card Randolph kept until the end of his days. Later in the little garden, Randolph proposed and was accepted. So after three days of "feverish Courtship", he returned to Blenheim Palace to break the news to his parents.(After Lord Randolph Churchill died, Jennie Churchill married George Cornwallis-West of Newlands, Milford and the latter became Winston Churchill's step-father).

  More recently, I found a magazine article on the role of "calling" in "courting" in the 19th Century:

  The Role of Calling in Courting

  Colin Bower
  31 October 2009

  Final Report