Article on the role of Calling in Courting (per "Choice" Magazine February 2008)

"Courting

The business of courting was predominantly a process for the man to put into effect, as before the early years of the 20th century, it was thought unseemly for a woman to show unwarranted affection towards a man.

The term "to court" originates from those seeking an audience with the monarch, in order to gain attention for a particular cause or favour. This easily translated to those seeking the attention of a potential marriage partner.

Courting has always held a somewhat formal sense of decorum about its process, unlike "wooing", a term that is becoming increasingly obsolete, that rather illicitly means to tempt or invite a person's favours.

Initially, a man seeking to attract the attentions of a lady would send his calling card to her mother, who either would or not, whichever the case may be, inform the daughter of the gentleman's interest.

The next step, before any official invitation to the household, would be for the gentleman to "call" in person, not expecting to be asked inside, or even to see the object of his affections, but merely to ask after her welfare. This personal visit would also allow the suitor to once again leave his calling card, this time folded at one corner to signify that he had taken the time to call personally.

Eventually these attentions would be rewarded with an audience with the mother and perhaps an aunt or two, who would run an experienced eye over the gentleman. If all went well, the two potential partners would then be allowed to meet under the strict supervision of a suitable chaperone.

As courting became a regular weekly rendezvous, an escorted visit to church or a busy park would serve to indicate to others that things were progressing nicely and with the approval of both families.

Subsequently engagement would follow, a short but respectable period before which the happy couple would finally become betrothed."

Colin Bower
31 October 2009

Final Report